I always admire YY; she works as a lawyer for a famous artist and studies as a perfect grad. Student who handles everything perfectly: turns in the paper far before the deadline, does the presentation intimidating complete and good and always finishes all the readings with thoughtful comments. She presents her paper in Scotland, publishes her paper in U.S and receives abundant external funding as a rare case of Master candidate. Tons of professors want her to be their PhD and tons of professors’ advice her not to waste her Law degree by going to the PhD. Beside work, she has this Asian-gene that makes her an always 20 yr face, a smile that naturally warms her friends while scares her enemies away. She is a professional violinist, speaks at least four languages plus Latin and a bi-lingual of Japanese and English. She does everything professionally; nothing will be off her schedule. I have met her boyfriend who is absolutely a sweet-heart. even GP, the most emotional person on this planet could not pick out anything against her and indeed, he relies much on her to socialize with everyone, yes, she is that perfect and strong. I know everyday she handles great pressure from work, life and studies but I have never sense any weakness, not even a crack. Beyond all the greatness, she is the person I complained about my homework and shared my stress and frustration.
I am still writing in English, meaning I did not get my laptop fixed. Still no time for it.
Sunday and Monday and Tuesday I have been crazy reading GP’s book, a whole book of really dense information, and I have to memorize everything to get ready for the Wed. Class. I have three TA sessions from Mon. to Wed. in which I had to talk, answer questions and lead students’ thoughts. Beyond the above work, Monday I finished grading students’ drawings and prepared every sheet for their sessions; Tuesday night when I was in Avery I found out the only copy was thrown in the copy room without the reserve slip in it: who idiot did this disastrous thing! And actually I kind of knew; for the first time I sent out a group email saying please stop being selfish and doing stupid things.
Wed. AM2:00 I sent out emails regarding proposals of final paper topic to my two professors although I had NO CLUE of what I am going to write about; AM9:50 finished two Japanese essays, each of 1200 words, and run to classes from 10:35 to 7:10PM. The noon class was really frustrating: although we did all of the book but only even a word was mentioned in class: oh, that’s not true, one sentence did mention it, "we will not talk about it at all and we will just skip it entirely although you wasted your time on reading it." WE WASTED THE ENTIRE WEEK AND THE REASON WE DID SO WAS BECAUSE IT WAS ON THE SYLLABUS. It is ok I work as a dog, but it is really frustrating when efforts are just dismissed that easy. I have tons of other readings and a PAPER TO WRITE before Friday my Lord! Also in class, GP’s perfectionist mode operated again and everyone suffered from it.
Oh, how can I forget about this Monday, what I did after the tiring TA session? I went to the opening of our new VMC center, and after the chairman’s speech and patron’s family’s talk, I got SUPER DRUNK in two hours, with delicious food and really good white wine. I did not remember, or did not want to remember what I chatted with people I barely know, or with strangers. I must have been very strange; the only word I remembered about talking with various people is "stressful" everyone….. 8PM I got home and had a nap. 10:30PM to 2AM continued with my reading.
Back to Wed. 7:40PM, I finally could go to Avery and do some of my work and check emails. "and his name is Luke!" I typed this name as "Luck" in an email to my dept. Chairman, what possibility of mistakes I can make…. really I have really bad luck with him…every single time.
Today my TA partner said to me that I always looked cheerful. really? Then I figured out why: because I always keep a smile. I have this habit that the worse situation I am in, the sunnier smile I put on my face. 9:30PM got out of Avery back home, heated up some curry for food, and talked with Chi on phone.
Best friends are the people who always naturally crack you up. No need to make jokes, no need to make efforts to comfort people, only the existences and every simple word saved me from sliding into depression.
I am going to bed. Tomorrow I am going to MET class in the morning, to the architecture class in the afternoon and to the Avery at night. Friday early morning I have two appointments with Profs. One Museum mandatory visit in the early afternoon, and I hope I can board on the flight that will take me to a warmer place for the weekend. But right now, that is still uncertain. Wish me luck