an internal collapse.  you know you should do the work without stops but you still had your DVD players running for 4.5 hours up till the midnight.
you also know you should go with what you have right now, but you just switch on the self-destruct mode, wanting to see a fiasco at the end of the clock ticking,
it is ok to make people hate you, but actually you are just scared of they have to pull up with you after your failure and every step of your weakness remind them of your untrustworthiness. 
Life is just miserable today, and will be more miserable if you still do nothing to save your ass off the fire.