a moving castle

recently I have graduately realized how immatrue I have been, and how naive I have been,
especially the two years at pitt; what a naive and errogant kid i was.
 
bit by bit, i become matured and more tolerate, not because i am nice, but because I have been there, and I know their thoughts.
in retrospective, i am so lucky; people bear with me and tolerated my stupidity, prejudice and stupid proudness.
little by little, i am getting old.
 
it’s nice to get matured.
it’s really scary to GET OLD.
 
the skin, the body, the tone, the gesture, the color of the clothes, the style of life.
life is not full of unkonw adventures anymore, life is about routines, habits, and disciplines. sailing is over, live on the shore.
 
last night i watched a japnaese movie "halfway," which was a really cute piece about high school student life.  haven’t seen such a truly cute, not faking moving about youth since Iwai Shunji. 
when my grandma died 12 years ago, part of me died with her forever.  when 2 yrs living alone in my highschool ended, part of me stayed in my high school forever. when that ultimate incident with my bio-mon happened 8 yr ago, part of me traumatized in dark forever. when I left her 4yrs ago, part of me gone forever. 
it is not what we have gained makes us, it is the loss during the whole journey that shaps our present.
today i am a moving castle.  Various parts of the mechanical machine are broken, gone, or missing.  it has been darkened through the passed years, and one can hear the crispy sound when metal frameworks operate, and the sound when breeze blows through the holes on the boy.  but it is still functioning, strugglingly, full of hope.
last night that little cute, refreshing movie suddently opened my small little room on the bell tower, of which I thought I lost my key forever. 

About GloriaYuYANG

art historian, writer, Ph.D. of Japanese art and architecture,
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1 Response to a moving castle

  1. Lin说道:

    however much you’ve lost along the way, just ask yourself- do you want to leave everything you have now and go back. if you don’t, it means you’re doing something right and heading towards some place great. enjoy the journey because it’s too short.

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