Slept for 3 hours and felt desperate, useless and hopeless in the morning, just as several other days.

Went to the writing center to craft the proposal; then head to meet with Prof. H.  he is super, super smart, and super, super gentle.  I threw out those floating ideas about the reconstruction of the traditional aesthetic in the 1920s Japan, as seen in Tanizaki’s text In Praise of Shadows, he continued with Watsuji Tetsuro’s books on the Nara Temple; then I mentioned something relating to the objectification of feminine beauty in this aesthetic, he provided a proliferate literature on this subject, especially in Tanizaki’s other novels, as well as in some other contemporaries.  Then I marched to the question of National narrative, and he threw out an extremely interesting point: the cultural reproduction of a particular aesthetic experience in the transitive period; that connects the theory with the facts…..which is really crucial to my argument.  Finally I mentioned the "chronotope" the relationship between space and time; and specially in contrast to the metropolitan living experience as a fleeting modern consciousness, the timelessness, and spatial experience is crucial for the construction of the so called "traditional aesthetics." he was so eloquent, so smart, and eventually he said, it’s all about play.  that is an amazingly striking word, from a person who applies Marxism into every little corner of the history and society of modern Japan.  a seventy-years old men, carrying tremendous books everyday, with endless thinking……

out of the building and took a deep breath in the chilly, crispy air.
huge amount of work, endless rationalization, skeptical attitudes, self-estrangement.  I choose to live in misery in order to function in a mechanical rationalization society.

headed to the UAH, to enter the lottery for the house swamping…. stupidity of the bureaucracy.
Today’s BBC news, the "Peterson in China" is interesting. a rare brighter tone, as if find a rich guy who would pay for the debt for nothing.