From the end of May, I begin to get rid of something that haunted me more than 3 years.
Since August, I have changed a lot. English, GRE, YeYe, Job, art history, Japanese drama, Duanlian, Yanyan, Yangfan, damn pock…Then I realized some thing fade out of my life. The changes happened dramatically, I was entangled and almost lost myself. The result comes up when I talked with some peers I feel they are naive and I did not understand why I used to admire them for a quite long time. Also I feel the profound meaning of some words from my father, which I used to ignore.
The tough moment was before my GRE exam, I was really frustrated and losing my mind. I am a disaster at that time, along with wierd and horrible ideas.
Thanks to Dad I did not cross the line. Ultimately I come over the disaster, with a clearer mind. Nevertheless I still get a long way to go. Quite long.
In the seminar class this afternoon, I felt a sort of desperate. I am blind to the art history. What is Baroque, the common chic word of many teachers, exactly? I feel depressed not for the unkown thing but for the non-chance to learn.
I want to get a PHD in my life not for the scholar but for the whole life’s goal. I need the training, the pure, genuine training to be an "educated person".
I want to get a job as a curator or by-bidder working for the Christie’s.
I want to travell around the world and be a gourmet.
I need to go abroad.
Fancy facts. This Tuesday I missed a call as well as message from Ms Li, which informed me to go to department-singing activity because we get the scholarship and should distribute for the department. She is losing her mind, I am quite damn sure. What is the hell of that? I have nothing to say for it is ridiculous! Never mind, just treat it as a joke. It is a weird fancy.