down.

I have to find my pace, as soon as possible, before I break down.
There’s something missing, which I sensed from my indifference towards my 4 day marathon of reading and studying and the other 3 days dying in bed.  I have to figure out a way to balance my study and my sleeping hours, say, both sleep and study in one day.  I am getting used to staying up nights after nights and sleeping in the entire weekend.  Also I have to balance my life, to learn how to manage my budget, which actually drives me crazy; it distracts me from studying and drags my whole life into misery.
Few good things has happened recently, most of the news is BAD.  The rent company who supposed to gave me back 500 dollars instead only sent me a 10 dollar check which made me really want to kill them but no time to do so.  My blog where I kept the novels I have written in past 6 years finally disappeared without trace.  etc, etc.  Tons of things that I dont want to but have to deal with make me in hell pain.
i haven’t called Dad for quite a long time, in fact, except occasional calls from friends, I haven’t speak to people for quite a long time.  I hope I can sort out the trivia and my minds before I reconnect with people.  I genuinely hate BAD news, hate my life.
The depression has mainly to do with the tremendous homework; it’s like a Chinese high school, and everyone behaves like a high school mean girl, hijacking the only copy of the readings, grabbing the only on-reserve book without returning it back, and keeping the utterance decipherable. 
I had a very bad Sept, and unfortunately, probably the whole Oct. will continue this misfortune. so really don’t don’t test me, already being on edge.

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About GloriaYuYANG

art historian, writer, Ph.D. of Japanese art and architecture,
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1 Response to down.

  1. Lin说道:

    focus each month on a different goal and you’ll see the inprovement

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